Hope Culture

Hope is an optimistic state of mind that is based on an expectation of positive outcomes with respect to events and circumstances in one's own life, or the world at large. As a verb, Merriam-Webster defines hope as "to expect with confidence" or "to cherish a desire with anticipation".  —Wikipedia

 

The psychologist Charles R. Snyder associated hope with having a goal, along with a resolute strategy for achieving that goal. Alfred Adler similarly argued for the importance of goal-seeking in human psychology, just as philosophical anthropologists like Ernst Bloch did. Snyder emphasized the connection between hope and mental resilience (hardiness), along with the necessity for a realistic view of objectives (problem orientation). He claimed that the distinction between hope and optimism is that hope may resemble wishful thinking, whereas optimism generates the motivation to discover feasible routes toward a better future. Snyder researched the effects of hope and forgiveness on various life areas, including health, employment, education, and personal significance. He proposed that three key elements constitute hopeful thinking:

 

Objectives – Tackling life with a focus on goals.

Routes – Discovering various methods to reach your objectives.

Agency – Having faith in your ability to create change and attain these objectives.

 

In other terms, hope was characterized as the perceived ability to create routes to desired objectives and inspire oneself through agency thinking to utilize those routes.

Snyder contends that those who can recognize these three elements and cultivate confidence in their capabilities are hopeful individuals who can set specific objectives, envision various effective routes to achieve those objectives, and persist despite facing challenges.

Snyder believed that psychotherapy can enhance concentration on personal objectives by utilizing implicit knowledge of how to achieve them. Likewise, hope encompasses both a perspective and an understanding of reality, differentiating No Hope, Lost Hope, False Hope, and Real Hope, which vary in viewpoint and realism.

 

TABLE OF HOPE

 

Among the various models emphasizing the importance of hope in human existence, two key theories have attracted significant interest in the field of psychology. The initial theory, proposed by Charles R. Snyder, suggests that hope should be seen as a cognitive ability that indicates a person's capability to maintain motivation while working toward particular goals. Snyder's framework proposes that fostering hope relies on two essential cognitive processes: agency thought and pathway thought. Agency thinking reflects a person's determination to achieve their objectives despite obstacles, while pathway thinking relates to the strategies they believe they can employ to fulfill these personal dreams. In therapeutic settings, Snyder's theory identifies hope as an essential mechanism. In this setting, therapists help clients overcome barriers that impede their advancement, directing them to create attainable and significant personal goals (e.g., "I will pursue something I enjoy that boosts my self-esteem") and fostering their confidence in the possibility of reaching these objectives while recognizing appropriate routes.

On the other hand, the second significant theory developed by Kaye A. Herth (a woman) mainly focuses on a person's future goals concerning managing diseases. Herth describes hope as "a crucial motivational and cognitive attribute necessary for starting and maintaining efforts to achieve goals." In this situation, establishing practical and attainable objectives becomes more complicated, since people frequently do not have direct influence over their health results. Rather, Herth promotes objectives that emphasize the person’s method of coping with the illness—like, "instead of turning to alcohol for relief, I will be with supportive friends and family." Although the types of goals outlined in Snyder's framework differ from those in Herth's, both theories align on the notion that hope acts as a catalyst for personal motivation, which ultimately results in an increased sense of optimism.

Burden of Performance

I believe it’s essential for us to explore the concept of hope through a masculine lens. In today’s society, hope has largely been characterized in feminine terms, reflecting our gynocentric culture that often emphasizes female perspectives. By examining hope from a male viewpoint, we can gain a more balanced understanding of its meaning and implications.

 

Men are expected to perform. To be successful, to get the girl, to live a good life, men must do. Whether it’s riding wheelies down the street on your bicycle to get that cute girl’s attention or to get a doctorate degree to ensure your personal success and your future family’s, Men must perform. Women’s arousal, attraction, desire and love are rooted in that conditional performance. The degree to which that performance meets or exceeds expectations is certainly subjective, and the ease with which you can perform is also an issue, but perform you must. —Rollo Tomassi

 

watch this video:

Birds of Paradise Courtship

https://youtu.be/nWfyw51DQfU?si=G02CewMk7zvgOy0O

 

Whether you like it or not, or choose to engage with it or not, your performance as a man—whether real or perceived—will always be subject to evaluation. At this moment, I can imagine many male readers responding with, "Forget this; I'm just going to be myself, and any woman who can’t appreciate that isn't worth my time anyway." While this sentiment might resonate, it reflects the blue pill mentality that many "just be yourself" RUGs and Beta male adhere to.

It's a principle of power that we often dismiss what we cannot attain. Though this reasoning may seem logical, the reality remains: men are consistently assessed based on their performance. Even if you adopt a carefree "I'll just be myself" attitude, you are still being judged on how effectively you embody that authenticity. The truth is, your performance must be internalized; you are, in fact, a product of that performance.

You may believe you can bypass this necessity and simply hope that your unfiltered self will be valued by women (and others), but the reality is that women will evaluate you against their standards of hypergamy. They will look for qualities that align with their perception of what they deserve in a partner, based on their own understanding of their sexual market value (SMV). The criteria they use—appearance, skills, tangible advantages, and other essential traits—will vary from one woman to another, but one truth remains constant: to be a man is to perform.

Even if you identify as an independent man who prefers the company of escorts to meet your needs, you still require a degree of performance to earn the income necessary to access those experiences.

Hope as a Strategy

Charles R. Snyder describes hope as a mental process that includes the conviction in favorable outcomes and a belief in one's ability to initiate and maintain efforts toward achieving those outcomes. In its essence, hope serves as a motivational state characterized by two fundamental elements: agency and pathways.

- Agency embodies a person's confidence in their capacity to begin and uphold actions toward their objectives. It represents the "willpower" facet of hope, involving the energy and motivation directed toward achieving goals.

- Pathways thinking reflects the perceived ability to devise practical routes to reach those goals. It signifies the "waypower" of hope and illustrates the ability to conceive various strategies for accomplishing aims.

According to Snyder's Hope Theory, individuals who possess a high degree of hope are more inclined to set ambitious goals, exhibit greater perseverance when facing challenges, and adapt more successfully to unexpected setbacks.

Kaye A. Herth defines hope as "a multidimensional, dynamic, and subjective experience that encompasses a positive emotional state, a cognitive component, and a behavioral aspect"

Herth's definition highlights the complexity and multifaceted nature of hope. Key aspects of her definition include:

- Positive emotional state: Hope is associated with feelings of optimism, joy, and confidence.

- Cognitive component: Hope involves thoughts and beliefs about the future, including a sense of possibility and potential.

Herth's work emphasizes the importance of hope in coping with adversity, promoting resilience, and enhancing overall well-being.

Herth's Hope Scale is a widely used instrument for measuring hope in various populations, including patients with chronic illnesses, caregivers, and individuals experiencing stress and adversity.

Herth Versus Snyder

Similarities:

1. Multidimensionality: Both Herth and Snyder acknowledge that hope is a complex, multifaceted concept that encompasses various aspects.

2. Positive orientation: Both definitions emphasize the positive, optimistic nature of hope.

3. Goal-directed: Both Herth and Snyder recognize that hope involves a sense of direction and purpose, with a focus on achieving desired outcomes.

Differences:

1. Emphasis: Herth's definition focuses more on the emotional and subjective experience of hope, while Snyder's definition emphasizes the cognitive and motivational aspects.

2. Components: Herth's definition includes a positive emotional state, cognitive component, and behavioral aspect. Snyder's definition, on the other hand, highlights the importance of agency (willpower) and pathways (waypower) thinking.

3. Context: Herth's work is more focused on the clinical and nursing contexts, while Snyder's work is more broadly applicable to various fields, including psychology, education, and business.

4. Measurement: Herth's Hope Scale is a widely used instrument for measuring hope in various populations, while Snyder's Hope Theory has led to the development of various hope-related measures, including the Adult Hope Scale.

Herth's concept of hope, which highlights emotional and subjective experiences, appears to resonate more closely with traditional feminine values such as empathy, nurturing, and emotional expression. Conversely, Snyder's definition, which emphasizes agency, pathways, and goal-oriented actions, aligns more with conventional masculine values like assertiveness, independence, and self-sufficiency. Although Herth's research initially concentrated on clinical settings, especially concerning patients facing illness and trauma. I contend that its wider application could be fostering a culture of helplessness, where hope is increasingly relied upon as a coping strategy.

Herth's definition is applied too broadly in modern times.

1. Perpetuate victimhood: Relying solely on hope can reinforce feelings of powerlessness and helplessness.

2. Discourage personal agency: Focusing on hope rather than action can lead individuals to wait for external solutions rather than taking charge of their own lives.

3. Foster a sense of entitlement: Overemphasizing hope can create unrealistic expectations and a sense of entitlement, rather than encouraging individuals to work towards their goals.

Hope In a Religious Context

In certain Christian traditions, hope is intricately linked to faith, as believers trust in God’s strength and care to lead them through life. However, this viewpoint can sometimes foster a more passive stance, where individuals depend on divine guidance instead of actively confronting their struggles. As a result, they may experience a feeling of helplessness, believing that their destinies are solely determined by God’s intentions rather than their own actions.

My analysis draws parallels with the theological discourse surrounding the notion of "quietism." Quietism is a theological stance that underscores the significance of surrendering passively to God's will instead of engaging in proactive efforts or taking initiative oneself. Critics assert that this approach can foster a lack of personal accountability and agency, as individuals may depend entirely on divine providence rather than taking steps to influence their own lives—and there is validity to that concern. Theologians such as Dietrich Bonhoeffer have posited that genuine faith should not equate to a passive dependence on God; instead, it must involve actively participating in God's endeavors within the world. Thus, a more nuanced perspective on hope and faith may highlight the need to balance trust in a higher power with a sense of personal agency and responsibility.

Risks of Hope

The potential risks of Herth's definition of hope being applied too broadly, particularly among men. Given the societal expectations and pressures on men to perform and provide, relying too heavily on hope can indeed be detrimental.

The concept of the "masculine imperative" suggests that men are often socialized to prioritize action, achievement, and self-reliance. When men rely too much on hope, it can:

 

1. Undermine their sense of agency: By relying on hope rather than taking action, men may feel less in control of their lives and circumstances.

2. Reinforce feelings of powerlessness: Herth's definition of hope, which emphasizes emotional and subjective experiences, may inadvertently perpetuate feelings of powerlessness among men.

3. Distract from problem-solving: Overemphasizing hope can lead men to focus on wishing for solutions rather than actively working to address challenges.

 

It Doesn’t Get Easier, You Get Better

For men, the concept of true relaxation from societal expectations of achievement is a myth. To think otherwise is to subscribe to the erroneous belief that women possess an extraordinary level of empathy that allows them to overlook their instinctual tendencies towards hypergamy, which relies heavily on assessing a man's worth based on his achievements. Women do not hold themselves to the same standards of performance that they expect from men. Hypergamy necessitates an ongoing, often subconscious validation of a man's value, which means the experiences of men and women cannot be compared on equal footing.

While women often assert that men "demand" they meet certain physical standards, which can indeed be true, this notion reflects the standards men apply to women rather than the expectations they impose on themselves. There is fundamentally no reciprocal dynamic in this regard, and when a man dares to suggest that he has criteria for a woman's intimacy, he is often labeled as judgmental or even misogynistic.

Social norms today are created to promote the idea that women's natural inclination toward hypergamy, or seeking partners of higher status, remains the prevailing standard. Demanding that a woman conform to a man's expectations undermines her inherent worth as an individual. While there is a desire for a logical resolution to this pressure to perform, the subtle effects of hypergamy are deeply ingrained and difficult to ignore. It is ultimately a man's ability to show—and not just articulate—his higher value that inspires women to consider the needs of both partners in a relationship, whether it leads to a fleeting encounter or a lasting commitment lasting decades.

-Mohau Darlington